Installation 15: Lasso a Hippo previous

After much anticipation, James Trehorn finally convened a meeting of The Committee to Plan the Opening Reception for Ride the Snake: The Afterlife of Prince Anka. The committee consisted of 14 people from nearly every department within the museum. It included Martin Colhurst from the Drawing Department (a 25-year veteran of the museum with valuable opening party experience), Betsy Linder from Education (known for her impeccable taste and ability to throw a good cocktail party with just the right amount of artichoke dip) and Sigrid Danforth from the IT Department (not valued for anything but someone from IT had to be chosen.) And, of course, Phoebe.

On meeting day, everyone assembled in the Early Romanticism Conference Room with notebooks, Palm Pilots, mugs of green tea, and bottles of water. James arrived precisely one minute before the scheduled start time and handed out an agenda. Phoebe noted that he wore a crisp white shirt and a very nice striped tie.

Agenda

The Committee to Plan the Opening Reception for Ride the Snake: The Afterlife of Prince Anka

1. Opening Remarks – James Trehorn

2. Old Business

3. Brainstorming Session

A. Entertainment & Attractions

B. Publicity

C. Food/Alcohol

D. Parking

E. Security

4. Assignments & Next Meeting

“OK, people,” James said, looking around the table. “Let's get started. As you all know, Ride the Snake is very important to The Museum and, as such, we are under mandate to plan a party to end all parties.”

“Does that mean we don't have to have jazz this time?” Sigrid asked and snickered, looking around the table for support, although no one joined her in her laughter. They knew how much James enjoyed jazz.

“Sigrid, if you'll follow along on your agenda,” James said. “You'll see that we will cover entertainment when we get to Roman numeral three, which is 'Brainstorming.'”

“Oh, OK,” Sigrid said. “My bad. But can we have a swingers party?”

“Getting back to my opening remarks,” James said, talking over Sigrid. “We've been given a mandate to throw a party to end all parties. But we have a limited budget...”

“Let's not have the acrobats we had for Degas,” Mary Ellen Hightower said. “They were expensive and, in my opinion, my daughter's gymnastics club does better tumbling and they're all nine years old.”

“I can see that we are very focused on Roman numeral three,” James said. “So let me just see if there is any old business to attend to before we jump off into brainstorming... Old business anyone?”

“Isn't this the first meeting?” Sigrid asked. “Would there be any old business?”

“Sigrid,” James said and sighed. “Are you going to be difficult through this entire process?”

“I wasn't aware that asking questions qualified as being difficult,” Sigrid said.

“Mary Ellen,” James said, “Would you do the honors of capturing our ideas on the white board?”

Mary Ellen stood and took up a marker.

“Let's lay some ground rules for the brainstorming session,” James said. “You don't have to raise your hands but please be respectful and don't interrupt...”

“I’ve got it,” Lars Auerbach said and snapped his fingers. “Lasso a hippo.”

“Are you talking a real hippo or a fake one?” Mary Ellen asked. “Because we don't want to be accused of animal cruelty.”

“A fake hippo?” Lars asked. “Made out of what? Foam rubber?”

“Like a cut-out,” Sigrid said. “I know, how about cut-outs of Prince Anka and a concubine and you can stick your face in the face opening and have your picture taken?”

After an hour of brainstorming, the white board included the following items:

Lasso a hippo – real or fake but real is so much cooler
Prince Anka and Concubine cut-outs. Photos $1.00
Foot washes performed by slave boy or girl. Note: slave boys and girls would really be 18.
Cat petting zoo. Research: do we need licensed cats or can we bring from home?
Meet a concubine. Alternately, have your picture taken with a concubine. Adults only!
Acrobats. Note: find more physically fit acrobats who are also cheaper. But not too cheap.
Senet tournament. Winner gets $100 and free chardonnay for duration of party.
Orgy Room
Bar serving Orgytinis
Party like Ra the Sun God!
Oxygen Bar
Prince Anka Look-Alike Contest.
Prince Anka vs. King Tut Battle Dome
Longest Penis contest (protested by James)
Wine, cheese, jazz (suggested by James)

The brainstorming was exhausting. People began to slip out of the meeting with mumbled excuses about having to use the bathroom well before James could bring the conversation around to parking and security. Finally, he agreed to adjourn the meeting. On the way out of the conference room, he brushed up against Phoebe.

“Good meeting,” James said to her. “Although I noticed you didn't say much. Don't be afraid to offer your opinion; you're a valued colleague.”

“I'm still learning the ropes,” Phoebe said. “Although I thought your suggestion of wine and jazz was nice.”

“People have certain expectations for openings,” James said. “Often, if they can't get a nice piece of cheese, they're disappointed.”

“Of course,” Phoebe said.

James stopped walking. He worked his mouth, although no sound came out. Phoebe paused, waiting for what she thought she knew was coming. But James seemed to be at a loss. It was discomforting to see James blushing and stammering.

“Well,” Phoebe said. “I guess I'd better go back to my desk.”

“Yes,” James managed.

Phoebe turned uncertainly and walked away, thankful that all her efforts in pilattes classes at least afforded James a pleasant view.

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